So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Success! We fucked roommates!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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