How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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