I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
