Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
