Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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