the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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