I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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