it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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