no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
