Those balls look pretty dangerous.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
These tits shall not be calmed
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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