I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
