My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
