i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
