I need help removing her.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
