I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
