So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.