omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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