So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!