a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.