Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
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she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat