I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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