Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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