Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
