If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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