Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
