We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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