one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
