i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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