Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
