I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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