You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i will never coherently bang her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
