I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.