I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men