Got a toothbrush?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means