Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.