white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
