Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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