Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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