See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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