where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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