I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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