4 words: hood of his car
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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