Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
