Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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