He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
