I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize