No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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