Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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