Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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