so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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