I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
