k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
