so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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