last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
