We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
