Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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