I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
