well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize