Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
