i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
