Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
