So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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