How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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