I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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