Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
