Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
