By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
